Culturally Irrelevant

Someone once said a marriage without Jesus is like two ticks and no dog. It’s easy for a husband and wife to take their cues from each other and expect the other person to meet their needs by doing the right things. And if that’s the focus, it works in fits and spurts, but it eventually leads to a pretty exhausting and dry relationship, which is how I was told to do it. It’s works sometimes for Katy and me, as long as we’re getting pretty good sleep and the kids are behaving and work isn’t too demanding and the calendar is being nice… :)

We can’t meet each others needs, really. But as we’ve become more connected to Jesus individually, we’ve become more independent, more steady regardless of each others situation or what’s going on around us. The real bonus has been that as we’re more intimate with Jesus individually, the more energy and confidence and health we bring to the table when we’re together.

Experiencing this with Katy has taught me something else. I don’t have relationship problems with people. That’s really not the issue. Tension with a co-worker, pastor, friend, or family member isn’t the source of my problem. The source is my connection to Jesus. He’s the Vine and I’m a branch. When I’m connected to him intimately and constantly, life naturally flows to me from him and ultimately through me to others, regardless of what they say or do. But cut off that daily, intimate relationship with Jesus and I’ve got nothing for anyone, except myself, which is a frightening thought.

If I’ve seen anything that I have lacked as a man and that most men lack, it’s intimacy: the emotional and spiritual capacity and desire to be dangerously close to and vulnerable before God and other human beings for the sake of relationship. For the sake of loving and being loved. John Eldrige talks about the primal “wound” from our fathers, the wound with which we are all inflicted because of this fallen world and the broken relationships that have resulted. For us guys, that wound has kept us guarded, stoic, walled up, performance-minded, and a host of other things.

What about you? How’s your intimacy meter? How intimate are you with Jesus? How intimately have you known your spouse or your family today? Do you know what speaks to their deep desires and longings? Do you know what they’re really afraid of or hoping to see happen? When you see another believer, is it a handshake, a socially acceptable hug or a true embrace?

Our fear of intimacy, of getting hurt, causes us to create acceptable substitutes for true intimacy. I fear that we have so easily traded true Jesus-like intimacy with others, the kind that’s both passionate and pure, for connections that are more socially comfortable, more guarded. This is dangerous stuff, dangerous to the very intimacy Jesus died to give us and dangerous because it leads to far greater problems than the ones we’re trying so carefully to avoid.

Driving home from out of state several weeks ago, God showed up in my car. I know that sounds weird…and dangerous, but I promise both hands stayed on the wheel. I was singing along with a song about the Father’s love, and I began to get a very real and overwhelming sense of his love for me, personally. Maybe you’ve experienced this, so you know why I wept. I could see the Father like a burly sea captain at the wheel of a ship. The storm was raging, water crashing over the sides and winds howling fiercely, but there he was, laughing, holding the wheel in his massive hands. Instead of fear there was peace, and a tremendous sense of strength and experience that made the winds and the waves look like they really were: passing, temporary, small. His big, booming voice carried across the deck and washed over me. For a moment I thought, ”How can he possibly be this way when the reality of life is so painful?”

And then I began to see what he sees and feel what he feels: today in the perspective of eternity. Pain that is so temporary, and life that is so lasting and solid. I was overwhelmed by his hope. Hope for me, for the lost, for his bride, for the earth. He sees the end.

I could feel a presence behind me, so I turned my head and, out of the corner of my eye, caught a glimpse of someone who I knew was Jesus. I have to be honest, I turned my head back around and the first words out of my mouth were, “God, I don’t even know him. He’s a mystery. Would you please introduce me to him.” I’ve believed in him since I was 3 years old, and I’ve spent the majority of my life serving and obeying him; but I’m telling you the truth as plain as I saw it that day on I-75. Compared to who he is, my knowledge and experience with Jesus is so small, it’s as if I don’t know him at all. What he has done for me that I’ll never know or realize in this lifetime. What he’s been through, giving up his glory in heaven like he did and becoming a servant…for me, for the undeserving, for the lost! I was speechless, and all I wanted was an introduction.

These days that’s what I’m asking for. It’s pretty much all I want. Just to have an introduction to Jesus. Apart from this man, I don’t have anything. Everything else is unstable. But this man, he’s solid and true.

I have to be honest. I’ve gotten a little glimpse of Jesus out of the corner of my eye and I’m struck. And the more I do life with other people and read what they have to say, the more I realize I’m not alone. I’m just one struck person in a much larger body of people who are completely caught up in Jesus.

Our Pensacola family goes to the park tomorrow to join Jesus as he casts a really big net over thousands of hearts. Gang members, prostitutes, homeless, at-risk teens, children, city officials, police, firemen, business owners, church goers. The park will be full of people who are going to hear the Gospel of Jesus and feel the love of God in a new way. Join us in prayer over the next two days. God is doing the work, and we can cooperate with him as we declare his love over the city, pray for people’s hearts to be softened, and take authority over the strategies of Satan to keep people from coming, to keep them from hearing while they’re there, and to steal the seed of the truth after they leave.

I can’t tell you how hard it is to be here in Tulsa and not there. I miss my Pensacola family so much that most days it physically hurts. There’s Kingdom work going on there, destruction to the kingdom of darkness, and we’re all a part of it through our encouragement, prayer and support. I can’t wait to hear the reports from Saturday. And I can’t wait to see what God is bringing to pass in the city of Pensacola, in the church as a whole there and in the lives of tens of thousands of people who are lost.

People will literally wear themselves out for something they care about or someone they love. And it’s amazing to watch. Last night, someone needed help moving with very short notice. They had a 26 ft. truck in the driveway and just needed some guys to help. By the time I was able to get to the house, there were already more than a dozen people there and the truck was fully loaded, including an upright piano and some really heavy furniture. That was around 8pm. We had it completely unloaded to a third floor apartment before 9pm (and yes, the piano went up 3 flights of stairs…by hand!!!).

Come on now! This is just a simple example that screams “nothing is impossible when we’re working together in unity!” I wouldn’t have thought a house could be moved entirely in less than 2 hours. I’ve never seen it done. But I saw it last night. It’s entirely possible. It’s just that you don’t normally see that many people with that much energy, all working together to complete a single task. Oh, body of Christ. What is possible when we’re united to the Father’s heart…completely, personally, intimately? With him drawing each of us, directing our steps, showing us what we’re supposed to be doing. What’s possible then? I believe anything.

Jack turned 4 years old today, and I’m so proud of him: a kind and protective big brother who has a sensitive heart, loves his mommy and daddy, loves God and plays hard. We had a fun birthday party yesterday, complete with visit to Tulsa’s fire station 32, swimming in the backyard, a fire truck cake made custom by our very own “LB” Pomeroy, and lots of fun with friends and family. I think the best part of my day today will be going home and having a nerf gun fight all over the house and backyard. Katy, you did an amazing job making Jack’s birthday a special memory he will never forget.

And speaking of Katy, today is also our 8th anniversary. Katy Jo, when I look at you I still can’t believe God has blessed my life this much. You are  a Proverbs 31 woman. It’s hard to keep up with you sometimes, which I didn’t see coming, but when I look at how you nurture and care for the people and the relationships around us and the life that is springing up, I’m just blown away. You’ve held my feet to the path of love and kindness for so many years when I’ve wanted to write people off, give up or get frustrated. I can see the fruit of love coming up in you, and I know your Dad is just smiling, so proud of his little girl who has truly found the Father’s heart. I think he would say it’s worth it because of this.

And by the way, I know you don’t like this photo, but it means something to me. I could have caught you on a day when you were prepared for the camera, but when I see the mower and tools in the background with you sitting in the barber chair, all I can think of is hundreds of free haircuts, callouses you’ve gotten (and not just in our yard) and all the ways you pour your life out from 5am to midnight on most days to honor and celebrate people, serve the Master and sit at his feet. You couldn’t be more attractive than you are right there. Period.

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Another story from Deidox that steps on my toes. It’s an eye-opening look into the life of a police officer on Skid Row in LA. As a follower of Christ, he’s called to love people and see them like Jesus sees them. Listen to the way he describes Skid Row.

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It always helps to get your head pulled out of your…er, out of the sand, so you can look around and see the bigger picture. I watched this new short film by Deidox a few days ago and was suddenly reminded that I’m part of this big family serving Jesus all over the earth. It’s a family full of amazing, ordinary people who are walking in obedience and choosing to love people despite the sacrifices. This isn’t some dramatic story, but it’s real and it hit home with me.

“A lot of people thought what I was doing was foolish, and they probably were right. In the eyes of the world, I think it is foolish. But God has a different strategy. He tends to choose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.”