Culturally Irrelevant

Sometimes God is quiet. I don’t know why. I used to panic at the first sign of spiritual dryness. Quick, pray and read the word and confess your sins and put on a worship CD! Maybe God won’t ignore me if I surround myself with good Christian disciplines. Then I discovered Hebrews 3 and 4 and the concept of faith-rest. Now the quiet times are times of rest, of pruning, of patience and stretching. But, like any good coach, God continually takes me beyond my comfort zone in order to stretch me and condition me for what’s coming. Extended times in a shadowland are tough. For me a shadowland is a place of not understanding his purpose, not hearing or seeing his perspective. The waiting room seems to last too long. These places are usually new territory, places I haven’t been before, where I have to trust and just keep walking, being faithful with what’s in front of me, what’s in my hand.

I’m stuck in Genesis 2-3 right now. Among several thoughts that are marinating is Adam and Eve’s shame at their own nakedness and the knee-jerk desire to cover themselves and hide. Inevitably, in times of dryness and not hearing, all kinds of insecurities surface. There is always this temptation to hide feelings of shame and weakness. Throughout my life, in those key moments when I realize that I’m weak, broken, imperfect, vulnerable, inadequate, wounded…whatever, I begin to invent ways to compensate, to hide what is naked and exposed to criticism. I even use God-given gifts, talents and resources to cover up or distract from the areas where I’m vulnerable. Instead of going to God naked and hurting, I’d rather study more, pray more, talk more, work more. Anything to bury that sense of vulnerability. But God wants me to come as I am so he can hide me in Christ, clothe me in his grace and wisdom, lead me to still waters and fill me up with his love. I hear the essence of this kind of vulnerability and raw exposure in David’s songs to God. I’m just getting to that point in my life where I realize God is big enough to take it. To hear what I really feel. To listen to the reality of my life and not walk away.

But back to the silence. God is not in a hurry. I am, but he’s not. Trees don’t spring up quickly, but once they’re full grown, they’re powerful, fruitful and lasting. Early on, I felt more useful the faster I was going, the more I was doing. But that changes the more I take risky journeys into the Father’s heart. Sometimes those journeys are exciting and eventful. And sometimes they’re painfully quiet. Here are some words written in my notebook in all caps:

TIME  PATIENCE  SLOW TO SPEAK  LISTEN  WAIT  ASK  RECEIVE THANK  BELIEVE  SOAK  BE  WORSHIP  SEE  LOVE

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Not so the wicked!  They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish. (Psalm 1)

It’s almost April and there’s at least 8 inches of snow in my yard! And it was the perfect day. After a great campout last night, complete with s’mores, a warm fire and books in our big family tent, we spent the morning doing absolutely nothing and then spent the afternoon romping in the snow and building a snowman. Seems like I haven’t done that since I was 7! But seriously, it was pretty cool because I was looking at the snow photo on Katy’s blog last week, wondering if we would ever see something like that again in Tulsa. It kind of bummed me out and I remember thinking, man, that looks like a lot of fun. I wish we could do that again. Kind of like how you feel about Christmas come May. Well, I wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but here we are! Thanks, God. You make this journey amazing.

I’ve learned that boys need adventures, even when they’re 3. Our last adventure was a treasure hunt at Hunter Park. This time we planned a Big Adventure Campout. All the rain and snow turned it into an inside campout, but it was awesome and Jack got so excited when we built the fire and put up the tent that I thought he was going to pee his pants! He wanted to make s’mores on the campfire but it was raining. So, he prayed that God would stop the rain, and wouldn’t you know it. It rained hours before and hours after, but for an hour and a half Friday evening, right after he prayed, it stopped raining! Just enough time to build a fire, let it settle into coals and then roast a few marshmallows for s’mores before climbing into our tent in the dining room for some stories. Thank you, God!

a load – part 2

In a previous post I talked about a yoke. The yoke connects an animal to a load in the best way possible. In the same way, Jesus’ yoke fits well and gives us grace for the load we’re pulling. By that I mean the yoke of intimacy with Christ makes pulling the load he gives a joy and a passion.

Paul tells the church in Galatians 6 to “carry each other’s burderns” (v. 2) and that “each one should carry his own load” (v. 5). We’ll look at burdens tomorrow, but for now, what does Paul mean by each one carrying his own load? This word “load” means the freight or lading of a ship. It’s a measured load and the ship being loaded is desiged to carry it. In the same way, there’s a “load” I was designed to carry. This is the same word Jesus uses when he says, “for my yoke is easy and my “load” is light (Matt 11:30).

God has given me gifts and talents and a desire to carry a specific load. But there are also false loads that I’m not designed to carry. Maybe it’s someone else’s load, but I’m tempted to pick it up. Maybe it’s a good thing, but it doesn’t belong on my yoke. And maybe it’s a load someone else is trying to put on me, but Jesus hasn’t put it on me. This is what was happening in Matt 22:4. The Pharisees were putting heavy religious requirements, or loads, on  people that God never gave. They were the traditions of men and not God. The loads were unmeasured and unappropriate for the ship they were being loaded to.

One load that I’m pulling right now is my role with The Harbor, a church plant in Pensacola, FL. God has given me very specific things to do in this season, but as soon as I wander from that narrow place of what I’ve been given to do, I start straining. It’s deceptive, really. It comes in as a sense that I need to do something extra to push things along or maybe a simple distraction that starts pulling me away from time with him. And the next thing I know, I don’t have time for everthing, I start feeling dry inside and then I wonder where the grace went.

OK, putting the cookies on the bottom shelf. It’s like this. If I stay in that intimate place with Jesus, keeping at his feet and staying in his word (his yoke), then it’s a joy to work (the load) because I’m not sweating the “stuff” of life. All the sudden the load becomes…well, easy. Believing is easier. Being patient with my kids is easier. Loving my wife and others is easier. But if I get outside that place and get loaded up with other interesting or “necessary” stuff, the journey starts getting hard. 

Here’s the BIG TEST I use for everything: if it distracts me from and pulls me out of that place of intimacy with Jesus, then it has to go.

All I can say is God bless the guy or gal who discovered this stuff. Guaranteed, Starbucks will never carry this product, but it beats Tazo, Earl Grey or Twinnings by a mile on this cleanse. OK, so I promised no TMI. But to say the least, the Master Cleanse works! Definitely not easy, delicious or fun, but it has major benefits. Say goodbye to allergies, bad complexion, caffeine addiction and feeling sluggish. We feel great! Still have some days to go, but we’re not too hungry or tired at this point.

That said, I can’t WAIT to sink my teeth into a huge steak and some garlic mashed potatoes!

part 1 – the yoke

 

yoke-making, old school

Jesus said, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me…for my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matt 11:29)

I’ve taken on so many different yokes in my life. While my yokes are very different than those others have carried, they’ve been burdens nonetheless. Legalism: I served God for many years thinking I had to be disciplined enough to earn his approval. Fear of man: I served leaders for years with a deep need for their approval. Criticism: still struggling with this one. But why? When Jesus says his yoke is easy. Following him, being in relationship with him, being obedient to him is supposed to be “easy” in a sense.

The best picture I’ve gotten lately of Jesus’ yoke is in John 15. Here, Jesus is the true vine and we are the branches. My job is to remain in him, to stay put in his love by being obedient to his commands. That’s it. Intimacy with Jesus through constant remaining and obedience as he speaks. This intimacy is the yoke I wear. Sounds simple, but it’s the place where life comes from, where direction and power come from. And here are the promises if I stay in this place of love and intimacy: I will bear much fruit (v. 5), I will ask whatever I wish, and it will be given (v. 7) and his joy will be in me to complete my joy (v. 11).

If I pull any load from any other yoke, then I’m doing it in my own strength. Picture an ox that takes off the farmer’s yoke and then turns around and bites down on his load and tries to carry it along with his teeth. Wow! Even if it’s a fairly light load, that’s going to be one unhappy ox with no teeth and a load that’s not going to move much. Funny, but it’s what I’ve done with years of my own life.

Farmers used to make their yokes by hand. It takes a huge block of stout wood and a tremendous amount of work and time to make a yoke that can stand up to the pressure a mature ox puts on it. This place of heart intimacy with Jesus can withstand a lot of pressure, which is why God doesn’t mind taking years to form it in me. Once this place is formed, anything is possible.

Here’s what I’m asking myself these days. What are some areas in my life that are not easy or light? What in my life is creating hardness, difficulty and stress? Am I willfully carrying a yoke that Jesus hasn’t given me? If so, where did that yoke come from? Why did I accept it?

Hoowee! Somebody get me a snowcone. This stuff is NOT nice. It’s the end of Day Two on the lemonade cleanse, and we’re feeling pretty good. Katy gagged on her saltwater this morning, leaving about 16 ounces untouched so I could ridicule her for her pansiness. Don’t make that face…it’s all I’ve got. She beats me in ping-pong, basketball, cards, and now Pente…you’d be gloating, too.
 
But seriously, the cayenne can definitely clean up. Katy had a head cold and some congestion the day before we started and it’s all clear now. My allergy symptoms are basically gone, especially since I’ve started using the Neti Pot.
 
I went to bed last night exhausted with some pretty sore muscles. Struggled with a pounding headache all day, but I’m assuming that’s coffee withdraws. Other than that, we seem to be over the initial hungry-like-crazy hump and now heading into the feeling tired phase. We’ll be going to bed early tonight, fo sho.

I guess it makes sense that it’s 2009 and a guy with a blog called “Culturally Irrelevant” is blogging for the first time. Forgive me if it takes a few posts for me to get the hang of this. Other confessions of some unintentional irrelevance…

I grew up Assemblies of God in a conservative Christian home. My parents were loving but very strict. I cut my musical teeth on Farrell and Farrell, Petra, Take 6, DeGarmo and Key…need I say more? I know a couple U2 songs, but secular music wasn’t allowed in our house, so what I got was in my brothers’ cars on the way to work or school. We didn’t have a TV for 6 years of my childhood, but I managed to catch the tail end of stuff like Hunter, Simon and Simon, Riptide, Matlock, A-Team, and The Fall Guy. I spent most of my time in high school and college mowing lawns, memorizing passages of the Bible, reading books and studying Greek verbs.

As of today, I have a beard that kids don’t like, I don’t use Facebook or MySpace (not because I don’t like social networking, but because I don’t seem to have time to keep up and I don’t like the ads…ok, so that dates me), my wife and I don’t have cable, haven’t seen a blockbuster movie in about 6 months, my wife cuts my hair (except when I won’t let her), I didn’t see Obama’s acceptance speech (read the transcript after the fact on Obama’s website), still using flip phones, just got off dial-up a couple years ago, using a first generation iPod that my brother won at work and mailed to us out of pity, and our only computer, a Dell Inspiron from 2002, finally crapped out on us (don’t worry, we’re using my mother-in-law’s old desktop and still going strong with XP 2002! Thanks, Gwen). The irony in it all is that I work for a thriving technology company…go figure.

Anyways, my wife is a brilliant woman who has chosen to be a stay-at-home mom rather than use her degree to make more money, we have two quirky but beautiful children and our boxer continues to be both annoying and loyal at the same time. We might keep him if he quits stepping on the kids and making them cry.

I’ve asked myself over and over, “Why blog?” There are lots of incredible blogs out there, and I’d personally rather read them, which is why I haven’t blogged until now. But honest writing is therapeutic, and I’m at a point in my life where I see the value in shared experiences. My wife and I have spent lots of time over the years looking at other people’s blogs, emailing bits and pieces back and forth, being encouraged by what others are seeing in life and in God’s heart. So, here’s to blogging.